I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize