Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize