you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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