She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
