I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Randomize
