Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
