I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize