what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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