I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My balls are so social today.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
