I think I won the penis lottery.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
