There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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