I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
