then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
