Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
