He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
and you fell through a lawn chair
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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