What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
