If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
