i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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