pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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