whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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