she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
