I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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