Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
