at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
