The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
