its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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