Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
me + whiskey = a bad person
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
