Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize