Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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