If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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