Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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