Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
