next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
