You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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