I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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