yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
