Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I understand Curling. That high.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
