just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
