this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
