It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
