I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
