im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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