Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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