Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
