I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
