SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
