Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize