its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
