Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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