He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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