idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
