my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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