you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
