you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
