16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
