tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
