Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
