Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
