when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize