Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
